Holding the Universe Together
by CamsthiSky
Summary: After months of the cape and cowl wearing Dick down, Bruce is finally back, relieving Dick of Batman. He finally feels like himself again. Maybe even enough to visit the Watchtower and catch up with an old friend. Part 3 of Tact


"Can we talk?"

Dick looked up from his laptop, blinking at Bruce, who was standing in the doorway to his room looking more than a little uncomfortable. Dick didn't remember much from the other night, but he did remember Bruce _cuddling._ Maybe the Big Bad Bat was still embarrassed over showing his emotions.

Dick didn't see why he would be, though. It was nice to see Bruce caring, even if it wasn't all the time. Bruce shouldn't be embarrassed for being nice to his family. That was ridiculous, but so very _Bruce._

"Sure," Dick said, eyes flicking back to his laptop. He saved a few things and closed his browser window, shutting the laptop and placing it on the bed in front of him. When he looked up, Bruce hadn't come any closer. "Do you want to go downstairs or….?"

"No," Bruce said, his lips thin. He finally strode into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "No, here's fine. It's just. It's not an easy topic to talk about."

"For you or for me?"

"Either one of us, I think," Bruce said. "Just, bear with me to the end, alright?"

"Okay," Dick said slowly, his brain going a mile a minute.

Whatever Bruce wanted to talk about didn't sound too fun, and Dick had a couple of guesses as to what the topic was. He didn't like any of them. The most likely one was about how Bruce had found Dick crying his eyes out in the Cave. Bruce, however impatient he was, knew how to hold himself back when it counted, and since they had yet to talk about that incriminating scene, it was bound to come up eventually.

But honestly? Dick had been hoping they could just avoid the subject and never talk about it again. He didn't have to be Batman anymore, he was taking his much needed break from vigilante work, and the weight of the world wasn't on his shoulders anymore. He was starting to feel like he was finally himself again. He definitely didn't want to ruin that.

"You were…distraught," Bruce started, "the other day. In the Cave."

Well, distraught was one way to put it.

"Yeah, I guess," Dick said, wondering where they were going with this. "I was kind of stressed."

Bruce sighed. "I know, and I feel like I'm partially to blame for that. I didn't mean to…to make you feel like that. I didn't mean to put so much pressure on your shoulders."

Dick blinked. "Are you apologizing?"

"Yes," Bruce said, nodding. His fists clenched, and he still wasn't looking Dick in the eye. Guilt, Dick realized. Bruce felt guilty, and probably nervous about showing his emotions. It was an odd combination of emotions to see on Bruce's face, to say the least. "I didn't mean to be an ass."

That startled a laugh out of Dick. Bruce's lips twitched upwards, too. And he'd finally met Dick's eyes. _Good._ Bruce probably needed a nice laugh, but Dick would take what he could get.

"It's okay," Dick said, still smiling. "I know that you're still trying to figure out this parenting stuff. If you want I can probably get you Jim's handbook."

"Already read it," was Bruce's reply, and Dick chuckled again. He wasn't even the least bit surprised that Bruce didn't seem to be joking. "Besides, I don't think it would be much help in this situation."

Dick hummed. "Maybe not," he agreed. "But in all seriousness, I know you weren't trying to put that much pressure on me, it just sort of happened. I think I'm just as much to blame for all this as you are."

"You're _not,"_ Bruce said vehemently as he leaned forward, causing Dick to flinch back. Bruce seemed to realize what he was doing and drew back, looking guilty again. And that wasn't—that hadn't been what Dick had meant to do. He'd just been laughing with Bruce, and now he was flinching away from him? Great way to curb his father figure's guilt.

"Sorry," Dick murmured, turning away from Bruce, his eyes meeting the floor. "I don't know why I did that."

"No, no," Bruce sighed. "That was my fault. I just meant that you aren't to blame for any of this. Do you remember what I told you the other day in the Cave?"

Dick bit his lip. The other day really _was_ fuzzy. The fury of Dick's emotions had caused his brain to go haywire or something, and he didn't remember much of anything after Tim had gone for the movies. He remembered crying in Bruce's arms, and he remembered feeling guilty, but the only thing he remembered after that was waking up in Bruce's bed with Tim curled up against one side and Bruce sitting up talking to Alfred in low tones on the other. To say he'd been really surprised to see Bruce would be an understatement.

"Not really," Dick told him. "Just what happened after."

"Dick, please look at me." Dick did. Bruce's eyes were filled with rarely seen emotion. "While we were down there you told me everything was your fault. Wally's death, Jason's death, your parents' deaths, and everything that happened with the Team."

"I did?"

He remembered feeling like that, and he kind of still did, but he didn't know that he had voiced all those insecurities to Bruce.

"Yes," Bruce said, and he looked so sad. "You did. I want you to know that no one blames you for the hard choices you had to make while I was gone. You were under so much pressure, and I shouldn't have added Gotham to the list."

"Wally blamed me," Dick admitted, grimacing. He wrapped his arms around himself. "Or I guess, _blames_ me. I don't think he's forgiven me for putting Artemis in a position like that. Or letting Kaldur blow up the mountain. He was…He was so _angry_ , Bruce. At _me._ "

Bruce looked sympathetic, but that wasn't what Dick really wanted. It made him feel like all of Wally's accusations were true. He'd never really resolved anything with Wally that day he'd come to the manor. They'd made some sort of temporary truce, but it was _hard_ to lose a best friend because of the mission.

"I'm so sorry, Dick," Bruce told him. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that, but next time something like that happens, I want you to talk to me. _Tell_ me if I put too much on you and I'll try to help, okay?"

Dick snorted. "You were on Rimbor, Bruce. What were you going to do?"

 _"Anything,"_ Bruce said, his expression solemn. "I would have come up with something even if I _was_ on the other side of the galaxy."

Dick hated how he much he had to rely on Batman. He was nineteen, almost twenty, and still he needed Batman to come rushing in to save everything from blowing up in his face or sinking down with him. Somehow, he'd managed to get through without Bruce those five months, but so much had gone up in flames, irreparable. Like his friendship with Wally. And maybe Conner. Definitely his place on the Team.

And then three months went by without Bruce and he ended up cracking under everything? It shouldn't have happened. After ten years of being a vigilante, first Robin and then Nightwing, Dick shouldn't have had to asked Bruce for help. He should have been able to handle it all himself.

Rationally, Dick knew that it was stupid to think like that. To think that he didn't need help from others. After all, that was what the Justice League was _for._ And yet, he just couldn't shake the thought that he should have done better somehow.

Dick dropped his face into his hands.

"I hate this," he whispered. "I hate how useless I feel."

"You're not useless, Dick."

"I _am."_

"You're _not,"_ Bruce told him, gently prying his hands from his face so Bruce could meet his eyes. "You're one of the bravest people I know, and I'm on a first name basis with Superman."

"Clark is pretty brave." Dick's lips twitched. "But Superman's invulnerable. I'm not."

"Which makes you that much braver," Bruce said. "You've had to make hard decisions, Dick. Decisions that, gone right or wrong, brought a lot scrutiny upon you. But in the end, you did what you could without much support, and I'm so damn proud of you."

"Really?"

Bruce nodded. "Really."

"You yelled at me, though," Dick said, recalling the day after they had defeated the Reach. "You told me—"

"What I said to you," Bruce interrupted, quiet, "was said while I wasn't informed of the full situation. I'd left you all on Earth, and I was—I was scared, Dick. I left you back where I couldn't reach, and I thought it was going to be Jason all over again."

"Oh."

Dick tried to wrap his head around that. Bruce had a lot of trouble showing his emotions, he knew, and it did make sense for Bruce to get angry about the wrong thing, but it had _hurt._ Dick had been making so many hard choices, and Bruce chewing him out had only cemented that it really _had_ been his fault.

"Again, I'm sorry," Bruce said. "For not telling you how I really felt. I'm not—not good at things like this, but it's really no excuse. Next time you're feeling pressured like that, like the weight's too much, I want you to talk to me, alright?"

Dick nodded numbly. "Okay. Thanks, Bruce."

Bruce squeezed Dick's hands gently, a small smile on his face. "And please tell me when I'm being an ass. You used to tell me all the time, but I haven't heard it from you in over a year."

Dick huffed a laugh. "Oh, well I'm waiting for Tim to tell you."

Bruce's face crumpled in confusion. "Tim? Tim Drake? The same Tim that has trouble telling Alfred that he doesn't like cantaloupe? That Tim?"

"Well, yeah," Dick said, starting to grin. "I mean, it's Robin's job to keep Batman in line, right?"

Bruce rolled his eyes, exasperated. _"Dick."_

Dick just laughed again, this time it was fuller, and Dick hadn't felt so much like himself since he'd looked over the S-cycle at Tim in the water, grinned, and said, _dude, way to get your feet wet_ , and it felt amazing to not feel so much weight on his shoulders.

Bruce waited for him to stop laughing, an indulgent smile playing at his lips. "It wasn't that funny."

"No," Dick said, "but it felt nice to laugh."

"Hm. I take it you haven't done it in a while."

Dick shrugged, the smile on his face falling away. "Life's been hell for a while, and it's been hard to find a _reason_ to laugh," he admitted. "I just—it's been hard, you know?"

Bruce nodded. "I get it, Dick, but…can I make a suggestion?"

"Go for it."

"I think you should talk to the Team," Bruce said quietly. Dick froze, and Bruce noticed, keeping his grip on Dick's hands. "I know you probably don't want to, but I think you and I both know that you want this to be resolved beyond shedding Batman."

"I—" What could he possibly say to that? Finally he managed, "I'll think about it."

Bruce smiled again, and it was nothing like those stupid fake smiles he put on for banquets and photographers. It was a genuine smile, aimed at someone he loved with all his heart, even if he had trouble admitting it to his sons. It was nice to see it again after almost a year without it.

"That's all I ask," Bruce said. "You want me to send Tim in? I think he's been at the door pretty much the entire time we've been talking." A small _eep_ from the hallway confirmed Bruce's words and both Bruce and Dick chuckled again.

"Come here, Timmy," Dick called, watching as Tim peered around the doorway, looking mildly embarrassed.

"I wasn't there the _entire_ time," Tim defended as he padded towards the two on the bed. "My room's just on the other side, and I didn't want you guys to stop talking because I needed to pass by or anything. I swear I wasn't really listening, Dick. I was just—"

"Sheesh," Dick said, extracting a hand free from Bruce's light grip to make grabby hands at Tim, latching onto his arm and pulling him in for a hug. Tim wasn't really one for hugs, but he never complained when Dick snuggled with him, even if he did go a bit red after a while. Dick hoped that Tim just secretly enjoyed them.

Bruce was still smiling at the them. "I missed you both," Bruce said, and Dick was glad that they were still in emotion sharing time. "Next time I'll have someone else make the three-month trip, okay?"

"Okay," Dick said, Tim pulled up against him. "Welcome back, Bruce. We missed you, too."

* * *

He couldn't believe he was doing this. He couldn't believe he was _here._

Actually, the only reason he was probably still there, suited up as Nightwing, standing by the Zeta tubes in the Watchtower, was because Batman's hand hadn't left his shoulder the entire way. A silent show of support.

If he turned around and went home now, he knew that Bruce wouldn't be disappointed in him, but Dick would more than likely be disappointed in _himself_ , and he was tired of feeling angry at himself, so he didn't turn around. He waited for the others—Superman, Black Canary, Beast Boy, Robin, and Aqualad—to notice him.

It was Superman that noticed them first, and Dick had known Clark so long that he could never do anything but relax under those disarming smiles. Superman flew over to them, keeping his voice quiet so as not to disturb the debriefing happening in the center of the room.

"Batman," Superman greeted, before his eyes swung to meet Dick's. "And Nightwing. It's good to see you again."

Dick's lips quirked. Not a smile, but close. "Good to see you again, too," he said as honestly as he could.

"We won't be here long," Batman told him. "I just came to check on things, pick up Robin, and then hit Gotham for a patrol."

Clark's smile grew, catching onto what Batman _wasn't_ saying. "I see. I'll fill you in, Batman, and Nightwing can talk to the others once Aqualad and Canary finish up training arrangements." He turned to Dick. "Aqualad's been eager to talk to you, and you missed her today, but I know Miss Martian's been wondering about you, too."

Dick winced. "Yeah, I've just…had a lot on my plate lately."

Superman held his hands up, a clear sign of surrender. "Hey, I'm not blaming you, Dick. I know it's been a tough year. I'm just glad you're here now, and I know Aqualad will be, too. Just give them—all of them—a chance, yeah?"

Dick nodded, his voice quiet. "Yeah."

Aqualad and Black Canary seemed to come to an agreement, Beast Boy cheered, and the four turned towards the Zeta tubes, only to stop at the sign of Superman talking to Batman and Nightwing. Dick didn't wince again, but it was a close thing with the many pairs of wide eyes staring at him like he'd died and come back to life.

Batman's gloved hand tightened on Nightwing's shoulder reassuringly. "Superman and I will be around the corner if you need us."

Dick nodded and watched them walk away. Then, he steeled his nerves and turned back to the frozen group. None of them were moving, not even Kaldur—though, Kaldur didn't look _half_ as surprised as the rest of them did.

"Nightwing!" Tim finally said, jogging up the steps to where Nightwing stood in front of the Zeta tubes. "I thought you weren't going to—"

"I wasn't," Dick said lowly, "but I changed my mind. Batman brought me here."

Tim didn't move for a minute, but then he smiled nervously—geez, the kid seemed more nervous about Dick being here than _Dick_ was—and fell back a step, letting Kaldur come forward instead. Kaldur extended a hand. Black Canary had a sad smile for him, but she didn't stay, instead making her way towards the hall that Batman and Superman had disappeared down, leaving Nightwing left to face only Aqualad and Beast Boy.

Could have been much worse. Could have been Superboy. Could have been Wally.

"Nightwing," Kaldur said, a small smile on his face when Dick took his hand. "It is good to see you, my friend."

Dick nodded. "Sorry I've been such an ass," he said, taking Bruce's words from the other day.

Kaldur's smile widened. "I will forgive you if you forgive _me_ for not noticing your deteriorating condition."

Dick frowned. "I'm not going to say I was fine, Aqualad, but I will say that there was nothing you could have done. You were undercover."

"I didn't mean during the Reach invasion," Kaldur said, ducking his head slightly, "but I do apologize for putting you in a position where you had to lie to your own teammates. I meant these past few months, while Wally was missing."

 _Missing._ Not dead. Just missing. The mention of Wally's time away from them all still sent a pang through Dick's heart, it still made him feel like he couldn't breathe, just like Jason's death did, just like his mom and dad's deaths did.

"It was both of our faults," Dick decided after a long moment. "We both agreed that you going undercover was the best way to play this out, and we both suffered for it."

Kaldur's smile turned sad at the edges. "Indeed we did," he agreed, "but I believe that you are _still_ suffering for it."

"Maybe," Dick breathed, aware of both Tim's and Garfield's eyes on him still, listening to every word that was coming out of his mouth. "Maybe just a little."

Kaldur's expression told Dick that he knew it was _more_ than just a little, but Dick was glad when the Atlantean let it go. He wasn't quite ready for anyone to push him on this, and Kaldur seemed to get that much, at least.

"Are you coming back to the Team?" Beast Boy cut in, sliding in front of Aqualad. The kid looked about ready to burst with excitement, and Dick didn't really want to pop his bubble. He hesitated to answer, struggling to find the words to explain that he _couldn't_ come back. Not yet. Not until he had settled whatever problems he was having with himself.

Kaldur noticed his hesitation, though. "As much as we would love to see you return, Nightwing, I believe that it is imperative that you take whatever time you need to heal. After all," Kaldur said, looking Dick straight in the eye, "if a soldier is injured, you do not send him into battle until he is fit enough to fight, correct?"

Dick swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat. "Kaldur, I'm not—"

"Mental, emotional, or physical, Dick," Kaldur said softly, "they are still wounds."

Closing his eyes, Dick took a few seconds to just breathe. He was Nightwing right now, surrounded by his former teammates, the people he used to lead, and he could _not_ break down right now. Even if he was wounded, it wasn't the best time to prove Kaldur right.

"Right," Dick said at last, opening his eyes. "I'll keep that in mind. I'll come back when I'm ready."

"Of course," Kaldur said. "We'll all be eagerly awaiting your return, Nightwing."

"All?" Dick couldn't help but ask after a second. "Even…."

"Superboy is…apologetic, to say the least," Kaldur told him. "I explained my side of the situation, and he said he would wait it out, and Miss Martian has only been worried about how you have been feeling. She does not blame either of us."

"And Wally?"

It was Kaldur's turn to sigh. "I have not seen much of him, to be quite honest, and I am not sure how he is dealing with the entire situation."

"So I need to talk to him myself."

"I think it would do you some good to talk to Superboy and Miss Martian, as well," Kaldur suggested. He clapped a supportive hand on Dick's shoulder. "Just know that no matter what Wally says to you, you always have a place here as our leader. We will welcome you back the instant you decide you are up for it."

Dick nodded, shooting him another hesitant smile. "Thanks, Kaldur." Then he turned to Garfield. "And I'll come back soon. Until then, keep the Team in line for me, okay?"

Beast Boy grinned easily, saluting. "Yessir!"

Batman and Superman came from around the corner just as Garfield let his hand fall. Either it was really good timing or they had both waited until Dick seemed to be finished speaking. Tim went over to Batman and held his hand out in front of him.

Dick could only watch in confusion as Batman merely handed over a few bills. They were probably hundreds, too, and it looked way too shady.

"Um." Dick blinked behind his mask as best he could as both Batman's and Robin's heads turned towards him. "Did you two bet on whether I would come?"

Tim looked sheepish, even though Dick couldn't see his eyes, but Batman looked as stoic as ever. Man, even Superman was looking sort of bewildered at the exchange. Dick had learned really early on that Batman seemed to be the exception to just about everything when it came to emotions.

"No," Batman said, his voice flat. "We bet on whether you would say the word 'ass.'"

Dick grinned, his previous tension falling away. "You bet against it?"

"I figured you would use something stronger."

"Not with a little Robin in the room," Dick said, trying not laugh as he pulled Tim towards him. Hugging him, the kid that had been there for Dick the past year Bruce had been gone, was such a comfort that sometimes Dick didn't want to let him go.

"What the hell, 'Wing," Tim muttered. "I've _said_ worse."

"You want me to tell you know who that?"

Tim went red. "No."

"Then to me you're just as innocent as a newborn baby."

Tim was almost scarlet now, hiding his face in his hands in embarrassment. "Please don't," he moaned. "I'm _fifteen."_

Beast Boy was gaping now, and Aqualad looked resigned, leaving only Dick and Clark to fall into laughing fits. It was nice to see that Bruce had found a way to let the tension in Dick's shoulders at coming up to the Watchtower out. It felt good to laugh in costume again. The weight was gone, and with even Batman's teeny tiny smile under the cowl, Dick thought for once that things could actually turn out alright.

* * *

 **This really is just something to show that without the pressure he was under during those months Batman was gone, Dick feels free enough to try and be more of himself. However, I hope I stressed enough that he's not magically better. Dick needs more time and he really needs to face his demons. There will be one more story in this series, and yes, it will be the Big Confrontation with Wally.**

 **Come chat with me on tumblr!**


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